Box of Evolution

the box of evolution
jump right in
the box of evolution
let the games begin

who had a tail before
could be you or me
the whale knows even more
and he's our extended family

some believe me not
this i know
it's easy to prove
let our DNA show

our hind-brain
another wonderful clue
to all the basic needs
does it best serve you
that reptile in us all
though, it's messed up rather quick
by alcohol

this may be hard for you to grasp
this may be hard for you to take
but our evolution is sure
as a fault like quake

we still are in fact
evolving and growing more
but additional limbs are not
in line for the door

our mind is the new realm
of pushing the limits
and our wonderful brain
has bearly begun to show
what is within it

our frontal lobe
personality of me and you
the beginnings of it's potential
barely seeping through

most recent mass
we have aquired
and it hold
so many uncharted paths
to consciousnesses pushed higher

this box of evolution
we are all in
don't forget it
and let the games begin.


(end with awesome monkey noises :D )


~K

re-invent

Ego crawling forth
it's lacking in taste
holding back the beast
barely wrestling free
unscathed

amazing how
one's patterns change

what does it survive on
what does it thrive on

re-invent
and accept
a new reality

vicarious instances
of a solely observed world
double think

see how
such a small portion
of our selves
creates our personal hell

re-invent
and accept
a new reality
a new reality

temptations lost in time
a forgotten realm
what do we strive to be
in our brainwashed society

delving into the depths
of the human psyche

what does it survive on
what does it thrive on

this ego beast in me
i'll tame the beast
ans set myself free.


~K

This bed (blood,sweat, & tears)

(two updates?!! amazing!! you lucky folks you!)


this bed
it holds all my fears
all i hold dear
is released
in these blood, sweat, and tears

my release
is only found here
in the wake
of my deepest desires
in all that inspire

i'll place you down
protected
by my blood
my sweat
from all that i fear

in my bed
you'll find solace
in what i hold dear
lose yourself
have not a tear

they have all
been shed for you
the blood
already drawn
for you

i took it
in your place
my blood, sweat, and tears
so you have
a last saving grace

fear not
you are in
my scared space
as i have poured
every ounce of my soul
into this bed

to keep me whole
to keep me whole
it keeps me whole
carrying my soul

this bed
this bed of fear
this bed
of what i hold dear
this bed
of blood, sweat, and tears.


~K

Black Out

I wish i could stop thinking
about how i feel like i fucked up
i wish i could stop thinking
about feeling like i've gotten stuck
what the fuck
did i do

this blank hole in my memory
what the fuck did i do
to make you act this way around me
that nervous twitch
was never there before
that long stare into the door
you never avoided my gaze before

what the fuck did i do
between my last memory of you
and waking up alone
what the fuck did i do

to make you put a hole in the wall
i did it again
destroyed another friend
did it by accident i know
only wish i have the memory to show

what i did
so i can fix it
so i can erase it
maybe i never can
and that's why

my mind
already did


~K

feh sappy and potery-ish junk, told you i have been busy with other stuff.

Destroying Myself to be Free

(ahh nothing like a big batch of posts....)

Didn't realize
I couldn't speak my mind
didn't see
the chains over my throat
so used to the weight
pressing down on me

walls of protection
closing in
walls of security
I'm burning within

never realized
I was trapped inside
gotten so used to
living with this doll frame
only mouthing only responding
in ways deemed safe
no wonder this monkey on my back
is beginning to chafe

pressing
burning
chafing
trapped here
pressing
burning
chafing

surrounded by my fears
locked by my mind
designed to protect me
locked by my mind
destroying myself
to be free.


~K

The God on the Outside

the idol stands tall
perfect and poised
can such a tyranny
truly exist
screaming and stamping
beings chained down
most respond without a sound

accepting their fate
wallowing in pools of their creation
praying for another way to be
when the chains
they forgot how to see

pointing at those
who strive to break
it's their fault
that this happened in the first place

never look to themselves
forgetting the three fingers pointing back
the god on the outside
know how to put it all on track

these beings forget the observation
affecting all from within
they forget the feeling
of their own living skin
trying to crawl into another
to remember the sensation
all they find is disappointment

the tryanny
on the outside
those who stive to break
on the outside
god
on the outside

the world out there
all of it moving
along created by
what's within
these beings have forgotten
what's within

~K

Shades of Gray

(sorry for the long wait folks...)

In the lines of time
all fades
falling swiftly back
into another shade
of gray

pushing and struggling
to get through
another day
soundlessly praying

When did it all
lose it's glitter
when did it all
lose it's shine
forgotten now
what we find divine

Drive stifled
motivation
lacking within
only looking for
more ways to lose ourselves
from what may have been

accepting this fate
chained to our rope
sensations lost
of what was hope
who knew that
we would fall into this
who knew that
we would forget out bliss

mantra becoming
we'll try that later
later never comes
and forgetting is easy
all that stays
is shades of gray.

~ K

To a Friend

I can be honest with You
Every thought
Always told
Always true
so Wonderful to have you
But, What Pains do I
put You Through

You Care so Much
and So do I
but we Both Know
that's All that can Ever Fly
Such a Treasure You are To Me
to Allow me a Space to be
perfectly Free

so Sorry I am
for these Tortures
I Know They are There
They are so Easy to See
no matter how much you Try
to Hide Them
so Desperately

Thank You So Much
for What you have Given
to Me
My Debt to You
lives on Indefinitely

I'm Sorry for these Troubles
sorry for the Pains
if i Knew a way to Stop
You would Never Have them Again
but it seems I'm Hooked
To A Wonderful Friend
and now I Wonder
If I'll ever be the same again

I thank you again
With the Depths of my Soul
In Your Allowing me
A Space to be Whole

I am So Weary
That the Price You Pay is too Dear
That my Presence
only causes you Pain
oh how I Fear

Thank you Again
for All You have Done
When That time has Come
When it's all Too Much
When the Line Must be Drawn
because even though you Hide it
I know it's Coming Along

I'm So Sorry
Thank you
I'm So Sorry
Thank You


~K

Giving too Much

I can only Imagine
how this looks to You
I've shown You Too Much
and Soon
You'll come Unglued
the Depths I Carry
tread them lightly indeed
as the Dreams in here
have Barely Taken Seed

This is How I am
Just so you Know
so if it's Too much
Guess that's the end
of the Show
Hope you had Fun
A memory or Two
Maybe one day
You'll Figure out
Where You need to Improve

I realize of course
that I read too Much in
to the Situation
like a Child
Indeed, Eager and Hopeful
having not Taken
Their First Fall
the Terror that Ensues
at the Shock of it All
Giving Too Much
Seems Over Eager of Course
and Soon one Finds
that for Some
it can Be
much too Overwhelming
when it comes, So Easily

We'll See how It Works out
We'll See if It can Change
but Keep in Mind
Nothing Can Ever
Remain The Same
People are, Meant To Change


~K

I forgot

I forgot
It's just Sex
I forgot
It's only Lust
I forgot
There is a reason why
I never Trust

This fleeting heart of mine
moves so fast
I can't see any sign
of where it goes
till it's too late
the Damage is done
another Mistake

I should Sever
the strings
to this beating
Thing
ensure it's Demise
before it Blinds my eyes
Again

I forgot
You've been Everywhere
I forgot
I'm the one who chooses with Care
I Forgot
that I can just be added to the Pile
I forgot
how quickly it All
get's Destroyed

such difficult things
the Emotions are
life would be so much Easier
if I could just
Watch from Afar
stay away and Pretend
that I had Never thought of You
as more then a Friend

I should Freeze
this Thing
pumping my Vitality
Stop it's flow
so Finally
No Emotions would show

I forgot
what this Heart can do
I forgot
for this to Work
that You Need One Too
I forgot
how much it can mean
I forgot
How Much Pain I can Take


~k

Sexual Overtones

( and a third and final one for today, just because it amuses me in it's "relation" to the last post... depending on how your mind works of course...and yes it's another older one, not as old as the last two mind you.)

Everyone likes a song
about sexual overtones
everyone likes to expose
this side they're
not
supposed to have

we pretend it doesn't exist
hidden behind closed doors
though we all know
that we do it
and crave for more

advertising abuses it
religion calls it a sin
such mixed up ideals
who knows where to begin

we want it
we need it
we follow it
but dear god
do not partake in it

awkward conversations
when the topic is breached
a stumbling laugh
covered in a sip of coke

trying not to admit
the "beast" within
we all know it there
and the freedom
of when we
finally give in

we want it
we need it
we follow it
but dear god
do not partake in it

a friendly smile
a backwards glance
mind adrift
in thoughts
deemed unclean
for common man

it will never stop
never fade away
as for this world to continue
it must stay
so tear down the walls
break the rules
allow
those thoughts better reign
and see
where the adventure
leads you too...

~K

Bound & Beautiful

(yea! two updates in one day! scary... Also, another oldie. )

Crawling towards me
on your hands and knees
you are bound and beautiful
bend over backwards
fall on a chair
soon you will feel
that pleasurable despair

gasping for breath
you feel your senses rise
twisted and poised
the aggravation
is bringing you, over the edge

the warmth consumes you
the delusions you enjoy
soon you will fill
that pleasureble void
muscles pulled tight
flesh pulled thin
pushing over the edge
released into your despair

gasping for breath
you feel your senses rise
twisted and poised
the deprivation
is bringing you over the edge

release and collapse
body's falling free
you'll never know
what your pleasure brings to me
consumed and stripped
of your pride
you are begging for more
bound and beautiful
face pressed to the floor

gasping for breath
you feel your senses rise
twisted and poised
the deprivation
is bringing you over the edge

the games we play
you know no other
you want more
and i'll provide
pushing you to the floor

a labored breath
so hard now
the expansion of your chest
you fall not into despair
as you are lacking precious air
your senses rise
twisted and poised
the deprivation
is bring you over the edge

you know you want it
and i'll give it to you
you know you want it
and i'll follow through
feel the release
the release
fall down to your knees
and feel this release


~K

Cutting the Thread

(Happy now Drew? Here's an update for you, it's an old piece, but it's better then nothing. )

Can't get a moments peace
won't give me release
i'll steal some grace
before i throw this back in your face

why did i bother to tell you
i'm so sick of this
i'll get your voice out of my head
because i'm cutting the thread
cutting the thread
getting you out of my head

you had your place
that you know
but now i'm being pushed
prevented, i can't grow
you understand, it happened to you
so you know what i must do

so now i'm cutting the thread
cutting the thread
getting you out of my head
because i'm cutting the thread

(ye-olde rhythm change)

It will make things better you'll see
once you've been severed from me
didn't you know that i can
and that you're leading me to this step by hand

a warm feeling washing over me
as i become closer to being free
cut it out with a knife
ending this time of strife

(/ye-olde rhythm change)

i never wanted to torment you
i never wanted to frustrate you
i will see myself through
getting rid of that connection
tedious task
something i will get through
hope it will be fast
this tension between us
cannot be pushed to last

so i get this voice
out of my head
I. Will. Cut. The . Thread.


~K

Dropping Mind

(this is actually a duet "-" denotes second voice "+" denotes both)

waiting for it to go
-filled with a passion
watching as it grows
- some may say a rage
feeling nothing and all else
- breaking myself, out of this cage
never knowing how it felt
- it's filling me
washing over me
- i will tear it down
this world is gone
- make me whole
watch for the fall
+see me tear it down

+dropping my mind
+can't it just be released
+forgotten soul
+can't i just let go
+who ever said we need be whole
+ let my mind implode
+let this flow through me

lose all the bits
-let go of control
fractured and scarred
-passions fill me
be who you are
-guard will stay in full
no masks, no shame
-mind will be released
never pretending to be
- i will be whole
no other name
-burdens let go
i'll be just fine
+in time

+dropping my mind
+can't it just be released
+forgotten soul
+can't i just let go
+who ever said we need be whole
+ let my mind implode
+let this flow through me

keep this existance
-don't let it go
never forcing to be
-lost control
let flow as it should
- go overboard
be lost
- never held in again
exist as no other
-make amends
be not what you behold
-standing my ground
encompass not their fate
+i will be only me

+dropping my mind
+can't it just be released
+forgotten soul
+can't i just let go
+who ever said we need be whole
+ let my mind implode
+let this flow through me

let me be
as i should
-don't force upon me
what i could
-wonder not
-for a lost chance
be only
that future path
-forget their ignorance
take what you need
be what you are
-be free
+with your integrity

Pieces Fall

lost connections
wires cut
frayed & splayed
witnessing the falling apart
after leaving the thing
to it's own device

they say it's now of never
to put these pieces
back together
gazing across the sky
wondering, will anyone even try

beginning to rust
beginning to fade
the parts are broken
all have lost their shade
forgotten now
what device was once made

they say it's now or never
to put these pieces
back together
searching through the times
no one seems, to have the mind

crumbling to bits
away in a breeze
opportunity lost
misplaced, the time to seize
looking with woe
at things, too few tried to know

things must pass
way's must change
all these lives, too soon
re-arranged

forging the new
connections it seems
are routed in ways
beyond our dreams

let the pieces fall
let the pieces fall

till we've lost it all

let the pieces fall

slipping down
into the void
senses lost
consciousness devoid

changes come
amid this
all encompassing delirium

illuminated within me
blinded, vanished
the traces that decree
how thoughts arise
how things may be

fluidity fills
amid this relm
of sensory overkill

thoughts collide
in the manner of a tide
as finally
consciousness awakened to
things, it is unable, yet
to understand

all aspects of self
in a state of
overflow
evolving to a place where
all reality it,
implodes

to begin again
to develop anew

let the pieces fall

as the change creates
everything

let the pieces fall

just out of view
just out of view

let the pieces fall

just outside of you.

these words

(sorry it is so long between posts, going through some shit and socializing too much)

These words
I'm supposed to be able to describe
these words
i drive myself insane trying to hide

FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way
FUCK YOU
to have me lost this way

My heart is supposed to be dead
my heart is supposed to follow my head

FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way
FUCK YOU
for these games i feel i play

Why can't i say it
why can't i be
True
To the only person
I should be.
FUCKING ME!

FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way
FUCK YOU
and these games i have to play

Why am i scared
why can't i be
this person
that i worked so hard
to finally
be brave enough
to be

FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way
FUCK YOU
to have me lost this way

Just let me be
The person
so many years
so many things
have forced
me to be

every ounce of me
simply striving to be
FUCKING ME
now i'm so scared
i try to hide
what i cannot describe

FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way
FUCK YOU
I drive myself insane trying to hide
FUCK YOU
to have me lost this way
FUCK YOU
for these games i feel i play
FUCK YOU
to make me feel this way

My heart is supposed to be dead
my heart is supposed to follow
MY HEAD

FUCK YOU

i'm supposed to follow my head

fuck you

Fuck.


i think i love you.

Cup of Tea

One so youthful
to be so bold
dangerous they say
yet a beauty to behold
pure temptation
gazes back at me
and truly he is
my delightful cup of tea

a simple swap
who's to know
what changes have taken place
in the world below

pure temptation
gazes back at me
and truly he is
my delightful cup of tea

timeless movement
as you say the words
"now follow me"
i must step back
try to refrain
but to gaze in the eyes of my temptation
it's enough to drive me insane

pure temptation
gazes back at me
and truly he is
my delightful cup of tea

shall i take a sip
dive right in?
who's to know
but me and that devious grin

such a temptation
it's eating at me
such a temptation
my delightful cup of tea

i wonder why
do i not give in
on my side
the only problems i find
are the inner creations
of my own mind

do i let down the wall
let the tea flood in
only one way to find out
let the tasting begin

My Friend

you make me feel
like i'm some sort of bitch
make me re-think my actions
like i had a fit

i'm not two faced
i'm not a whore
you are sending the wrong signals
and then begging for more

what am i supposed to do
when i don't know
what you choose to do
how do i respond
to the snaps
to the verbal whip
when i have no idea
on your reason for it

i'm not two faced
i'm not a whore
you are sending the wrong signals
and then begging for more

parry, joust
another confusing conversation
i'm so lost at what to do
what is our relation?
friends, enemies
tentative truce

any move i make
only seems to cause
the situation
to become more obtuse

the ball is in your court
my friend
know that all i ever wanted
was to make sure
you were doing ok
in the end

Those Who Chose the Sea

(another inspired by VKS dreams)

Everyone has a place to be
the land, the sky, the sea
all our own versions
of how to be free

least of all
do we understand
those who chose the sea
what daemons
what majesty
in those
who chose the sea

appearance of wings
appearance of spots
hidden among
other things

those who sing
song we strive to understand
those who are unable to hide
any emotions
in their multicolored flesh

what daemons
what majesty
we find
in those
who chose the sea

unearthly movements of course
(in) seemingly a relm
of anti gravity
going deeper
morphing shapes
the skeletons emerge
signs of pressure
almost insect disguise
never would imagine
what the shadows hide

such a world
things nearly never known
the most verity
in any place to be
is the realm under the sea

my soul

It's amazing how
i had never realized
how much i had lost
of what was inside

not till i saw you again
till the stinging
over powered my eyes

that i was aware
of how much
of me died

i breathe in your scent
and feel whole
gaze upon you
i found my soul

to feel you
under my fingers
finally no longer
a memory

have you encompass
all of my senses
such a beautiful
bliss for me

oh how i missed you
i didn't even realize
until the tears
began to sting my eyes

i had forgotten
that part of my soul
but now i feel again
how it is to be whole

Infants Eyes

( last song from the Album "I Will Partake")

seeing the world
like infants eyes
the glitter and glow
filling the skys

after such little effort
it all comes back
to the beauty
almost forgotten

stopping
to think
to wonder again

how come i never did this before
it was so simple
it's so much easier
to just be me

why was i blinded
it was so convincing
but with the veil gone
it's all so clear

what was stopping me
others
no
myself
mostly
glad that's out of the way

~K

Free of the Burden

( excerpt from the album "I Will Partake")

eye over shoulder
20/20 hindsight kicks in
make me wonder
how i managed before
fighting tooth and nail
for every little thing
when all i had to do
was simply give in
to be, only me

so glad to be
free of the burden
of being the
false side of me

looking into the haze
of long gone days
laughing at all
of the curious antics
simple cover
always hiding
what was the truth

so glad to be
free of the burden
of being the
false side of me

keeping up the charade
always avoiding the exposure
of the games being played
hiding the self, deep down inside
forever worrying
for it's discovery
never knowing
how much easier life could be

so glad to be
free of the burden
of being the
false side of me

looking back
i realize, and regain my strength
to keep my feet on this path
as i know the others that exist
their trails i have marked
i have known them too well
and look forward
to making a path anew


~K

Person to Be

( excerpt from album "I Will Partake")

Everything clear
such synchronicity
a world of wonder
all for me

just from being myself
the marvels i find
no longer listening to
the marketing machine
willing just to be
me

decisions made
ways changed
a world
lovingly rearranged
beign myself now
has never been
such a perfect
person to be

world flowing
like rivers unobstructed
endless chasms of wonder
waiting and arriving for me
what a wonderful experience to be
me

thoughts on a whim
do as i please
desires within
all fulfilled with ease
never a clash
never a guilt laden case
all in truth
as i am myself
in all it's grace

never thought it could be
the most perfect way for me
never thought it would be
the easiest way to be
but now i see
all i need to be
is me



~K

I Remain

( excerpt from album "I Will Partake")

After my interaction
i will grow
i will develop
and i will remain

you may fall
faltering
waning

you lack my will
you lack my strength
i will turn my dream
into reality

no one can take
this part of me
this essence of me
the will of one

i will be
everything you've hated
everything you've dreamed of
you'll tear me down
never help along the way
though i will remain

the pattern is
always the same
how to stand this ordeal
i will

you will wonder
how i got here
taking away my bridges
t'll shove it back
into your face
i've just kept pushing

i found myself
hidden on
the top shelf
in a locked mask box

didn't realize
i was gone

now i'm out
freed of myself
no longer an abstract
of myself

and now you see
with myself full of me
how no matter what you do
i remain



~K

Second Skin

(due to rather strange events and confusion, this song has been removed from "I will Partake", so that a few people can collaborate on it with me, it is being replaced with another track though no worries. also, it got re-vamped as all mighty muffins.)

An Isolation i feel
it's surrounded me
created within
no one will get through
my second skin

clinging to me
my skin can't breathe
bring it closer to me
sounds fill my mind
scent so close
nothing else could
*gasp*

tearing holes, for eyes
my collapse, inside
what's happening to me

everything i crafted,
falling apart

my body it writhes
mind is bent and stained
tearing down
breaking the walls
that protect me
protect me

what's happening to me
everything has changed
body's poised and senseless
but i will pray for more

so close
i know it cannot be true
so close
forgetting
it's not me
do i do this
to keep you
from me?

carve me out of here
i'm locked within
my second skin

must destroy what i love

torn apart
from the inside out
my fear faded
the smoke cleared

free to create
a piece of me
a bit of me
what happened to me?

how long i have waited
to be released from here
all hope is gone
nothing left of my fears
disintegrate what was
holding me in
tearing me out
of this second skin
second skin
held within

~K

The New Stain

(excerpt from album "I Will Partake" yes it's a very long album..)

These thoughts toiling
a current, so hard to avoid
saturating my mind
it's stained anew

drenched sight and thought
seems to be
better this way
this new sight for me
much better for be

practicing to impersonate
the rest
but i prefer my new
stained vest
it fits better then
any other
and suits better
then those other colors

venturing out
to the world
noticing the change
everything seems, so easy
now that i only work
to be me

watching others struggle
i wonder
whose vest do they wear
is that their stain?

drenched my mind my vision
seems to be
better this way
this new sight for me
much better to be

my vest works
in any situation
never ill fitted
always a good conversation
about how i look a new
seems people are noticing
and found wanting
this new stain


~K

Masks You Keep

( excerpt from the album "I Will Partake")

I open the door and step inside
i'm inside my mind
filled with aspects of myself
reflections of my interactions
a collective

locked on the shelf
in my mind
hiding in the mind's eye
running from the dead
never allowing myself to be seen

this darkness spreads
these compartments leak
and soon we will be the same
in my mind's eye
uniform

locked on the shelf
in my head
hiding in the mind's eye
running from the dead
never allowing myself to be seen

how do i find myself
among these masks i keep
wearing them for so long
lost on the shelf
identity

locked on the shelf
in my head
hiding in the mind's eye
running from the dead
never allowing myself to be seen

keeping it hidden away
watching from behind my eyes
mind is a collective
of my pretending ways
i am losing myself

being pulled down
from my self
tearing the mask
from my eyes
my reflections will me
released

This game will cease
I'll find myself again



~K

Piece of Me

( from the album "I Will Partake")

This piece of me
i will fight
to win
this piece of me
my integrity

so long
this fight has been
the confusion
i have endured
tedious

Finally
i will be whole
this will be
given to me
given to me

I will have
what i need
my fight will not be
in vain

though this world
is strong
this game
i know
and with my integrity
i will succeed

one thing you won't find
is dollar bills
behind my eyes

that's not why i'm here
that's not why i am
and if that's what you think
you've missed everything

a shame you are
for i'll go
without a care
just to be free
just to be me



~K

World we live in

(of course another from the album "I Will Partake" it's a long album... and i'm putting the whole sucker on here. )

Working for those precious moments, few
a smile, a glance
that laughing grin
a world untrue

in this vicious world we live
it takes all of our strength not to give in
and still see wonderful things can be

cherishing a savored time
so few and harder to find
caring friends
methods manage to destroy
the essence of kinship

in this vicious world we live
it takes all of our strength not to give in
and still see wonderful things can be

extinct are times of many joys
of a world without a devious ploy
somehow we try to succeed
without a thought to others concerns or needs
displaced are friendships

in this vicious world we live
it takes all of our strength not to give in
and still see wonderful things can be

looking to find
a sense of peaceful mind
but in this world it seems
to only destroy out dreams
working for eternity

in this vicious world we live
it takes all of our strength not to give in
and still see wonderful things can be

laughter a forgotten noise
even from children with toys
as the sparkles from eyes fade away
one wonders was it worth going astray
to be the only one to see
how vicious the world is turning to be

in this vicious world we live
it takes all of our strength not to give in
and still see wonderful things can be

why do we throw it away?
why do we not want these days?
working for others demise
pushing to capsize
our world

that won't be me
not me
any longer
you'll see




~K

Fragments

( another from the album "I Will Partake")

Pushing and pulling
frustration is coming in
actions staggering
barely knowing where to begin
the will to succeed
driving me, to keep trying
always

putting back
what's falling apart
putting back
what came from the start

put the fragments back together
fumbling
but it's now or never
edges blurring, more
struggling
the sense of urgency
is crushing me

putting back
what's falling apart
putting back
what came from the start
insipid

staples and seams
hold it in place
falling apart
almost no trace
of how they all connect
seems there's no way
to make it all stay

putting back
what's fallen apart
putting back
what came from the start
enervating

fighting to pull it back together
fumbling
pressure is building
i know it's now or never

Finally
it's the way it's meant to be
all has been done
for the pieces to fit
they'll fall no more
as i know
that can't be me

~K

Fully Sedated & Medicated

(another from the album "I Will Partake")

fully sedated and medicated
ready to face the day
fully sedated and medicated
ready to do as you say

the way i'm told to be
no thoughts left for me
follow the orders
left no quarter
never asking for more
not even realizing
i'm commanded to be the whore

fully sedated and medicated
the doped up grin
fully sedated and medicated
i'll recite those words
that have been hammered in

Be the drone, indeed
follow the steps, never lead
comatose thoughts
what's a dream?
i find no reference to this
in the programmed scheme

fully sedated and medicated
eyes glazed make in place
fully sedated and medicated
happily joining in the rat race

this is my existence now
nothing else to be
what other world is there
then the one told to me
the dial tone continues
as i face another day

Swallow This Pride

( another excerpt from "I Will Partake")

I'll keep these thoughts hidden
swallow this pride
push away that path
that my heart craves inside

my dreams, my dreams
these thoughts i hide
no one will know
hidden for long enough
even i'll forget what i don't show

nothing will change
these thoughts that stir
will stay inside of me

no one will know
like the white bone lined closet
door locked, key lost
even i'll forget
what i don't show

dreams can be lost
never to be followed
lives can lived
on a different path i'm sure
all can forget
what hope once were
the world will be
fine
without that
little bit of me

Hidden Within

( another excerpt from "I Will Partake")

Something kinda playful
hidden within
what's hiding inside
was supposed to have been

why has it been hiding
who's told it to go
whose said it can't stay here

(no one)
then why
(someone)
well who
(i don't know)

well then lets have it out
bring it out to play
we'll climb inside
and show it the light of day

surrender to yourself
be your whole
don't hide what's inside
embrace your, strange

you'll find a place to fit
it will be better
then forcing it down
you will be free

the world needs that person
you're hiding inside of you
there is a perfect for them
if you only let them out
to be as you yearn to be
stop pushing down those dreams

set them free
watch them soar
and discover
why the world needs you now
so much more
then you ever could've been
without following your beautiful dreams

Your Reflection

( Excerpt from album "I Will Partake")

I see your reflection
you're pacing quietly
sorting through the damage
discovering all of your broken dreams

there is nothing tangible
in our interaction
but you are changed
thoughts you brushed aside
are trying to see light again

the things you did
to "fit in"
"look cool"
now you realize
you're still being played a fool

Breaking habits can be hard
but the journey of 100 miles
begins with the first step
the only goal being
to look back with no regrets

you know how to do this
remember from long ago
it's not that hard to change
once you get past fear
chase out the mind killer
reclaim your being
and soon
you'll realize
how easy this really is

worry not
soon you will see
you'll retrace steps you set
and finally be
where you're meant to be

Path of Idiots

(excerpted from the album "I will Partake")

Fashion full
mind vacant
you wonder why they call you an idiot
heels so high your back is broken
waist so tight you can barely take a toke in
wonder why, your tits are all they see

choosing the path of idiots
wondering how it happened
you brought this on yourself
no one will be there to help
maybe if you stop playing
backstabbing mind games
people will be a little more humane

chug the beer
inject the dream
fall from the chair
wonder how you caused a scene
hiding from knowledge and a single original thought
you wonder why they don't ask your opinion anymore

Choosing the path of idiots
didn't you realize what you were doing?
you brought this on yourself
don't start to blame everyone else
maybe if you read a book
you might find that people react differently
and begin to see you as a person again

so you wonder why they treat you
like some fucking idiot
but when you care
more about who see's you where
it looks like there's nothing
but a little air up there

so take the hint
get something in that head
otherwise your useless
as a used up durex sheaths

following the path of idiots
so full of shit
following the paths of idiots
wonder why they treat you like it
only you can fix it
idiot
fix it
idiot

TV

(excerpted from album "I Will Partake")

It's funny how when tv was first invented people said it was evil. Slowly the world changed and accepted it. Now the view seems to be turning again, and some once again claim of it's evils...

Glued in
Stitched up
waiting to find
who'll win that fucking cup
Desperate to know
How she'll choose
from her life of idiots or booze
Disconnected and deranged
pushing the edge of sane
don't care about the world, you know
just the television show

-Make sure you get the whole tv front of the shotgun please-

It's sucking your life away
you don't realize
it's taken the sparkle out of your eyes
your imagination gone
lust for life shot

you don't know how many friends you've lost
following celebrities lives
forgotten your own
can't remember the last time you left your home to roam
your world consists of fast food
and the next soap
now wonder you don't care if your kids lose hope

this is not your umbilical cord
you can cut free
abolish this existence
and realize
how you can gain enrichment to your life
for hundreds of years
we have been wonderfully existing without tv
reclaim your dignity

remember me

(inspired by VKS dream)

you see it
you see it
in the way i move
you know you feel it
in the way i groove

you know
what i will become
you show
me the way to my path

you see it
you see it
in my eyes
you know you feel it
in moments i cannot describe

though i'll never remember
you must keep it alive
in your minds eye
i will be
i will be
i'll be the person i'm best
to be
to be

i had to let you know
in this state
it is the only place
where i can let go

to allow you to see
everything, i may be
hold on to it
remember well
as it fades away from my mind
yours is
the only
trace left

you see it
you see it
in the way i move
you know you feel it
in the way i groove

like a mask of death
the memory is gone
clean slate moves in
i'm filled with a vacant gaze

remember me
remember me

as i could be
as i should be

help me
to be
everything
everything
i would be

you see it
you see it
in my eyes
you know you feel it
in moments i cannot describe

remember me
remember me

as i could be
as i should be

help me
to be
everything
everything
i would be

A Vision (of you)

Given up
i'd assumed
finding someone
that could keep up
was as fruitless as
a wild Iris in June

here I am
Shocked and Amazed
relived as well
that i finally
don't leave someone in a daze

boldness
with such a grace
moves
across your face
An excellent mimic
a wonderful lead
oh such a rarity
no wonder I cannot sleep

My thoughts consumed
by a vision of you

my thoughts consumed
by a vision of you

two step here
and then a turn
perfect timing
you'd think we'd rehearsed
all eyes turn to see
the two that move
with perfect symmetry

a curtsy, a bow
night complete
i yearn for more
though i know
this is not
a one sided
curiosity
as your soft lips linger
haunting me

my thoughts consumed
by a vision of you

my insides screamed and cried
to have to say, good bye

my thoughts consumed
by a vision of you

Those eyes

I know those eyes
such familiar design
inner workings
a mind like mine

pinned with a stare
found my demise
my dreams it seems
have become living
before my eyes

how impossible now
to have restraint
against the perfect tease
take a step back
relax
find your mind's
original tracks

mind amok
I'm sure you know
i feel you moving in
senses crawling
I've forgotten the feeling
of my own skin

Succumbus

I want to
take you over
i want you
to know
what it's like
on the other side

i'll be
in control

succumb to me
let me be
the one who
makes you
lose control

make you writhe
make you moan
over the edges of a realm
you've never known

i know your firghtened
i know your scared
don't worry baby
i'm prepared

relax, let loose
i'll show you the way
be the obsever now
in the games
you would play

oh baby
succumb to me
come to me
let me be
the one who
makes you
lose it all

gently now, i'll guide you
harm, i never ment to
only finding new ways
to pleasure you
oh how i crave

adjust a little more
i'll distract your mind
to keep those senses
lost in my design
i'll release those desires
you try to hide

oh baby
succumb to me
come for me
let me be
the one who
sets you free

that's the way
you've fallen in
to temptation
at last
and now
your on this path
you'll never
want to
look back

oh baby
succumb to me
oh baby
come to me
oh baby
succumb to me
oh baby
oh
oh baby

follow through

consumed by my mind
no other it seems
could hold my thoughts
visions, sublime

cravings, yearnings
thoughts, once scorn
ravage the soul
body, only a thorn

worlds, entities
souls pass by
i see nothing
from my minds eye

(tempo change)

Inside a break
from these visions
i shake

(resume tempo)

thoughts consume
like a rose
like all forgotten blooms

(tempo change)

Inside i take
from these feelings
i know not
what to make

*sigh*

I'll follow though
I'll follow Through
I'll Follow Trough

I know not what to do

I'll follow though
I'll follow Through
I'll Follow Trough

What will it mean
when i follow through
when i destroy my view
when i become whole, anew

what do i have to do
to find release
make these images from my mind
finally cease

when i follow through
will i look to the mirror
and see
anything but
what i must do.....?


~K

Tearing (in two)

I wake up
from dreaming of you
i wake up
lying next to you
what else can i do
but try, to remove, these thoughts
of you

Tearing myself in two
all i want to do
is be friends with you

such realms you lead me through
music unknown
lands diverse
but such a large part of me dies
when you are perverse..

Tearing myself in two
all i want to do
is be friends with you

is it karma
is it fate
that i go through
these old patterns as of late
re-visiting old actions
with a twist
always find ways of preventing
the things you insist

tearing myself in two
all i want to do
is be friends with you

I've told
these things
i feel, you know
relentless you are
about voicing your desire

the line is drawn
bold in the land
but cross it you try
with the most devious of hands

my mind recolis
thoughts crack
as every part of my body
shrinks it's self back

All i want to do
is be friends with you
soon i will have no other option
other then
tearing you in two...


~K

Passion, Lust, Temptation

passion, lust, temptation
what a beautiful mingling
in this congregation
holding myself back
before i'm lost (in)

passion, lust, temptation

limbs entwined
what difficult thoughts
to release, from mind
but, continuing, i try

passion, lust, temptation

the alter i sit upon
watching my desires
prying myself away
avoiding the fire

how much longer, can i hold
avoid the task (of)
being bold
hiding the truth
locking myself, in cold

passion, lust, temptation

there it comes again
push the thoughts from my mind
though once again
they snake in
(there is a tempo change here... in case you can't tell... )
i pray

i can't

cave in

oh the world i keep from myself

but now
i fall
off the shelf

passion, lust, temptation
embracing fully
my inner salvation.


~K

last of my goodbyes

the scars, torn against myself
loving, hating, my reflection
you look to me for guidance

can't you see my pain?
once, you did
but now you'll never know
because;

it's the last of my goodbyes
a note, scrawled in pen
left clinging to the tile
a bottle, empty of asprin
spilled on the floor
a razor, covered in red
lies next to me

i wanted to say i'm sorry
but i couldn't find the words,
i wanted to call for help
but my mouth couldn't speak,
i wanted to say goodbye
but the pills started to burn

the last of my goodbyes
scrawled in hasty pen
as my eyes fail,
fail to see the blood,
the pain, flow form me

my reflection glows
the pain is gone,
i know now i could've gone on
but it's time,
time to say
goodbye.

~K

'Ello

Hi world!
alright so band info and shit will be posted on here.
for now it's mostly going to be a lyrics page.
Thanks for visiting!

~K